Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


I’ve come to the conclusion that there are only two ways to learn things in life. #1. The hard way. #2. From someone who learned it the hard way.

Tonight I came home from Bible Study to find my house slightly white. Not really- white- but 20 minutes clean up of white none-the-less. It was clearly a girls Bible Study that was responsible. I found them at church having a last study of the year party and all mysteriously dressed in black at church. I didn’t think much of it when they all left in cars around 9pm while I cleaned up my Bible Study- but when I got home it took me 2 seconds to put it together. Many of them are the same group that did this to mi casa the first month I was here.

I responded to that attack on my abode politely and assumed ignorance on their part. I nicely informed them this was not a bright move on their part with a powerpoint presentation during the high school weekend services of things that had happened to others before them who tried such endeavors: duct taped to trees, cars in crates, personally covered in kitchen slop, cars on jack stands at school, dead fish under a girls bed…. etc. I thought they got the picture when like 2 months later a girl in the group stopped me to ask out of the blue, “Did you really put a dead fish under a girls bed?” I said, “yes”. She said she would learn from that girls mistake.

Evidently not all do- some girls just want to learn the hard way. I now have a trash back full of white stuff, two leaders, and several key students to make examples of… not today… but someday soon- the white stuff shall be served. I once was told by a wise man this great motto to live by: “Don’t get mad. Don’t get even. Just get one or two up.” Tis the season to learn stuff the hard way I guess.


  1. so i was the car in the crate. it was great. not as bad as a fish under the bed but fun none the less. here’s a quick warning for anyone else who’s planning on messing with b… good luck. yeah it’s fun and all… but one day you might just fnd that the simple things like sleeping and driving your car are awfully difficult.

  2. Don’t you think it’s interesting, Buchner, that I have known Brian even longer than you and never once tried to pull a prank on him? I knew that it would never, EVER be worth it. I guess I learn things in the “from other peoples’ screw ups” way. Maybe that is a sign of my vast maturity and wisdom…. yeah… right.

  3. It follows you brian! everyone wants to attack your house. It’s a sign of love, it really is.

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