Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


No, I did not sprint my neighborhood in the buff.

However, last wed at small groups, I had the following true conversation between a high school student who comes to our small groups and attends occasionally on the weekend, but I haven’t seen much this summer.

Me: Hey, good to see you. How’s it going?
Him: Not great. I got suspended.
Me: Really. What for?
Him: Streaking.
Me: Um, do you mean like you got naked and ran across your school? (fully expecting him to say no)
Him: Yeah.
Me: Really, like at lunch?
Him: No, like at the football game just over here (points towards a campus near our church).
Me: By yourself?
Him: No, me and a buddy decided it would be funny. He chickened out and stayed in his boxers.
Me: But you went full on naked. Free as a bird.
Him: Yeah.
Me: How did you get caught?
Him: The narks were chasing us and he got away. I jumped the first fence and made it over the second when I dropped my clothes. Then it was pretty much over.
Me: So what did your parents say?
Him: Oh they were pissed. I got restricted for like 2 months.
Me: So what are your friends saying?
Him: I don’t know, I haven’t been to school since. It was really stupid. I would never do that again.

Well, there ya have it. The reason we evidently still need youth ministry. Though… I must say, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh at the kid, give him a high five, or tell him he was a complete knucklehead.

Laugh at the kid: like from a movie set, I picture this kid running buck naked across the field and I still think it’s stupid, but I can’t help but laugh at the silliness of the thought of watching his skinny white butt run across a football field. This is one of those times when as a parent, I’m sure you must go laugh privately once you’re done restricting the daylights out of your kid.

High five: This skinny white kid has enough self confidence and security to streak naked in front of his entire peer group. In a world where kids don’t even dress down for PE anymore and where women are forced to believe that their body image is what matters most, in a twisted sort of way, there’s something really healthy about this kids confidence. He evidently has no fear of what others think of him. (there’s a million things I could be saying here by way of a pun that I’m intentionally omitting too. Please refrain from puns, snide remarks, and insinuations if you choose to comment on this. )

Knucklehead: I’m not thinking this idea was sparked by the Holy Spirit. So since we can’t chalk it up as Godliness, it must fall under the category as he rightfully admits now, as stupidity.

A personal Confession: I once streaked naked for 5 bucks from my cousins to get the newspaper in their front yard in junior high, but it wasn’t in front of 1000 people. And yes, once I got the paper and returned to the front door, it was of course, locked leaving me naked on the porch for like 5 minutes before being freed out of fear of the consequences when their mother drove up the driveway and they let me back in.

Confession #2. College dorm room experiences ruined any fear of being seen nude in me. I was walked in on while dressing, going to the bathroom, or taking a shower too many times to count. Nakedness is not a personal fear anymore.

Confession #3. My most embarrassing moment was when I was in college and my college roommate dropped my shorts to the floor in front of two girls who had come by for some homework they needed. I was getting ready for bed so I was wearing my shorts only. And, when he was done pulling them to the floor in one fell swoop, I was buck naked in front of them. They left laughing and embarrassed themselves. Needless to say, I didn’t streak the campus, but I did go for a run to think about what just happened.

Confession #4. When in high school, after having gone out to dinner with my dad and mom and my girlfriend, we went back to my house. My dad was opening the door with the key when I dropped his drawers. Um, yeah. He didn’t think that was funny either.

No more confessions….

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