Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


I had a friend e-mail me an article today that I wrote a year ago called “evaluation time.” He asked if I wanted to comment again on it since a couple of people had commented on the site. I think he was just doing some website house cleaning.

You can read the article here.

It’s about 3 questions that Shannon and I spent asking ourselves over our last anniversary. Interestingly enough, they have stuck for us and are not just the subject of some random article I wrote. I’d like to write a book on them someday. Maybe I will. I dunno. That’s a whole other blog post and a dream that I have to be more intentional about.

Anyway, we spent Thursday morning- our “real” 15 year anniversary enjoying some java and breakfast and having a conversation about some of the good and the not so good of the previous months.

Conclusion: It’s WAY EASIER to live your life with the wrong priorities than it is the right ones.

I want to tell you this. My priorities are:

  1. Be a God fearing man who is mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually present and healthy.
  2. Be a Great Husband and love my wife unconditionally.
  3. Be a Great Dad and love and lead my kids towards maturity and adulthood.
  4. Be a Great Youth Pastor and help my students to understand, own, and live out a life-changing faith in Jesus.

I will even tell you that order matters and that they build on each other. Break the layer above and whatever you do below it falls apart or is nullified.

But regardless, it’s also super easy to live life backwards.

  • Ministry has high demands and is always ready to be first if I let it.
  • My marriage can so easily become an environment for raising kids. If I’m not extremely intentional, my kids demands can waaaay outweigh the needs of my marriage. (see the now famous Jon and Kate as the most recent “exhibit A” for this)
  • My marriage can become my third priority, and the idea that “the best thing I can do for my kids is love the mom” is evasive. The love fades and we become roommates instead of friends and lovers.
  • My own health and needs can seem selfish, and instead of being the resource from which I am a healthy contributor to all other relationships, it becomes so deprived that I suck at everything else.

So… I dunno much. But I do know that in another 15 years from now, the priority order will still be the same and life will still be easier to live backwards and hopefully, I’ll be better at keeping the order straight.

If I am… it’s cuz I asked 3 questions often. How are you? How are we? How is our family?


  1. I way love this Brian! After having spent the weekend in Palm Springs,I so agree with your list! For Rob and I it’s been 22yrs. Catch us if you can!!!

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