Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


I was listening to a tape the other day of a preacher and he was talking about Matthew 18 and how we need to go direct to the source if we have a problem with someone. Then he talked about the problem of “triangulation.” I’d never heard it called that but it’s when person A has a problem with person C and instead of bringing it to them, they talk to them through mutual friend- person B. Yeah. Well I just had that happen to me. I was person A and the whole B and C thing happened. I always knew I hated that, but today I confirmed it. Yep… I hate it… still do. Do you ever like to hear news about yourself through a friend of a friend. ? Does anyone? Maybe I’m missing something. I don’t. Bugs me to death. Not sure why we do it. Sadly, I think I have to say “we” do it. I’ve done it before. But, I decided a new and a fresh- I’m not going to anymore. I’m abstaining. If I have a concern or beef or angst or conflict at all about a friend, coworker, family member, politician, you name it- I’m going to them direct. I’ve decided that I no longer want to be in, around, near, or anywhere distantly related to a relational triangle. If I find my self the apex in a couple of friendships, I’m gonna become the bridge or I’m out. I hope I can hold to that and help others too. I think the world would be a lot more Godly place- and certainly the church- if when we had a beef with someone- we had the love and guts to go to them directly with it. It takes both. Guts and love. I decided a new today that I’m gonna do my best to make sure I have love people enough to go to them instead of around them. Lord help me live up to that vow.


  1. dude, I’ve been trying to keep it real with this ever since you talked about correction at CL fall retreat. Thanks for the reminder that it’s not easy, but it’s good.

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