HURT AND HOPE

Wednesday I got a call asking if I had time to go to court to support a friend whose marriage is being strained by domestic violence. I went. I hurt. I hurt for their young kids who wonder why there’s so much anger in the home. I hurt for a husband. I hurt for a wife. I hurt for those around me who seemed to be regulars in the court system and who know their way around due to frequent visits there. I hurt for those who have never seen any other way of life modeled and who have accepted this level of pain as normal. I hurt.

I hope.

I hope in a God who can restore a marriage. I hope in a God who knows more than I do. I hope in dark times that there is a single light at the end of the tunnel leading them to God. I hope in the power of the Holy Spirit to overwhelm the power of sin and death in my life and the life of those around me. I hope this is not “normal”. I hope this is not right. I hope in a God who is bigger than my problems. I hope. It’s all I can do sometimes.

I hurt.

I spent all of today in a house and 2 hospitals. Grieving. Crying. Mourning. Hurting. Hurting for a family that lost 3 small children in a fire. I hurt for a mom who was in the hospital trying to get well from a virus when she watched her rented home burn and her children die while the news reported it to her hospital room. I hurt for a father whose life feels utterly hopeless to him and whose wife is now more sick and pain-filled than anyone could possibly imagine. I hurt for a student who I have tried to mentor and help find life with Jesus so he can get off drugs and alcohol- who made a terrible mistake of which his 3 cousins paid for with their life. I hurt for a young man who now, more than ever, wishes he was dead. I hurt. I hurt deeply today. Deeper than I’ve hurt in a long time. Today was a hard day to be a youth pastor. It was a hard day to be a friend. It was a hard day to understand God. Today hurts.

I hope.

I hope that this is not the end. I hope in a God who promises a resurrection. I hope in a God who does not let evil win. I hope in a God who sees what I do not. I hope in a God who holds a bigger view of life than I do. I hope in a God who holds children I cannot. I hope that the promises of my Bible hold true. I hope for those who in their deep deep deep hurt, turn their life over to God. I hope.

I hurt. I hope. I yearn for a day when that cycle no longer happens.