It’s so dang dry in the air down here that I think there’s static electricity in everything. Every time I get out of car, no matter what I touch before, on the way out or otherwise, I get shocked.

Last night, my dog shocked me in the foot when he stood up off the carpet and walked by.

On Friday night, after church I kindly leaned over to kiss my wife and got shocked on the lips. All sorts of electric puns are here being omitted.

If only I could make it happen on command, I could have some fun with this. It’d be like junior high all over again.

I struggle as a dreamer. I see stuff that could and should be. I see it in my house. I see it in my kids. I see it in almost everyone. I believe in potential in people to the core of my being. So much so, that at times it’s really burned me. I’ll love and give and help people till I end up upside down myself. I’m the guy who is at risk of drowning while trying to save the guy I’m sure could swim if he just had a hand.

I believe it is the heart of God. I love 1 Corinthians 1 and the reminder that not many of us were of much value to the world when he chose us. I think God’s greatest miracle is to take my (insert your own word for feces here) and turn it into fertilizer for His Kingdom work. I love watching God do that in my youth ministry. I think it’s half the reason I do my job.

I choose to believe it’s within me too. I want to believe God is not done with me and my best contributions to his Kingdom work are still to come. But sometimes, I try and prove it. So I try and pry or kick open new doors of opportunity. I was talking with a friend last night and about the future and about jobs and such and we were talking about how he was thinking of prying doors of opportunity open. He said he was going to try a few. I said I think I’m done doing that. He said he had a big pry bar. I said, “Me to, but it always seems to pop open the sewer.”

When I felt like God called me to move from my last church, I asked God where and tried to do my part. I put together a resume, responded to job leads I thought fit me, even put together a plan and had two preliminary vision meetings on planting a church with some friends. Finally, after over a year of dreaming and prying and all the doors shutting in my face… I told God I wasn’t moving unless he did first. No joke, that was on a Friday. On Sunday, there were 3 job offers on my voice mail.

Since being here in San Diego, I’ve been asked to teach seminars at 2 conferences in LA. Both of which were God doors. Within the last month, I’ve had 2 conversations with friends in ministry, just to check in. Both times, it resulted in an opportunity offered to me as a communicator that I was humbled and honored by, but did not ask for or even see it coming. Both times I left asking God… “What was that about?” How come all his blessings seem to blindside me?

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that this is how he rolls- at least with me. It’s like I can look and dream and pray, but if I open my mouth- someone closes the window shades. If I shut up, serve, listen, and seek…. he opens the doors. Some days it makes me want to scream. Other days , when I’m sane, it reminds me that He really is in control.

My youth pastor said this to me probably a thousand times as an intern: “Brian, you provide the depth, and let God provide the breadth of your ministry”. It’s taken me over a dozen years to believe him.

I’m a slow learner evidently.

Ok… so 24 hours 3 and 4 are now under my belt… and I can’t believe Jack killed Curtis. I also can’t believe it jacked him up so bad he puked, pulled out his hair, and tried to quit. I’m not going to eat anything before 24 again. I almost puked. Now Jack is McGyver, Night Rider, Chuck Norris, and Clark Kent all rolled into one- Clark cuz like any good superhero/human… he might be enough of a human to puke, but he’d never cry.

Me? I would have puked, pulled my hair out, quit, and cried.

(Side note: How long did he have to be prepped for each episode? His new scars from being beaten in China must have taken some hollywood time to put on each day.)

And the nuke… holey stinkin moley. They can’t drop a nuke in episode 4. What’s left? By the end of hour 5 half the world will be dead and CTU will have to relocate to submarine off China’s coast. This is ridiculous.

Oh… and by way of confession. I was so stickin stressed by the middle of the second hour that I actually caught my self leaning back, feet tucked under my arms, and wanting to cover my eyes in the fetal position or something. Now I’m so wired I can’t even sleep. I think I might have to start watching these dumb shows in the morning or something.

Plus… I keep thinking that I should be checking on my kids, building a bomb shelter in the back yard, and working on my
“I-could-kill-you-in-a-second-if-I-wanted-to” attitude. That would really help me with kids in youth group who text message the world while sitting in my youth service and ignoring my incredibly brilliant words direct from God through my mouth. The nerve. I bet Jack could silence them with a look. He could also upload their picture from a satelite, e-mail it to their mom, and text message a link to their FBI file, all while still preaching the message. Maybe Jack is part Jedi too now that I think of it.

24 is the only TV show I follow so I was excited for it to start.

I realized last night, however, after the first death on the new 24 season came by the mouth of Jack Bauer ( Side bar: I still can’t believe he bit a guy to death and then spit out a mouth full of blood. That was the grossest thing ever shown on TV. Way grosser than Justin showing us Janet’s Superbowl boobage) … anyway, I realized while watching this episode that he is like McGyver, Night Rider, and Chuck Norris all rolled into one. I can hardly wait to see what the 20 somethings do with this character in 20 years from now… I think re-runs will be hysterical. Gotta go watch episode 2 now… I dvr’d it to save on commercials. I can’t handle the suspense while I sit there waiting to see what happens next.