I had an amazing time with my family camping at El Capitan State Beach.  We rode bikes, read, braved the rain, ate meals together, enjoyed the beach, tide pools, watching whales and dolphins and birds, and celebrated my 40th enjoying the beauty and wonder of the great outdoors.

Lots of people asked me if my 40th was significant to me in any specific ways.  Oddly enough, I had my midlife crisis at 38 I think.  So my 40th was not that mind warping.  However, I did make a list of several things I want to do in my 40th year- a bucket list of sorts I suppose.  While making that list I realized that in the next decade of my life, all my kids will become legal adults.

If I live to 50:  TJ will be 24, Tyler will be 22, Jake will be 19, and Becky and Billy will be 30 days from turning 18 when I turn 50.

So, with this realization, I have officially declared this my DECADE OF PARENTING INTO ADULTHOOD.  

I have no greater responsibility in the next 10 years and to that end, here’s my game plan:

MEET ONE-ON-ONE WITH MY KIDS.  As long as my sons and daughter live under my roof or within driving distance, I’ll keep making it a priority to meet weekly with them one-on-one.  Hands down it’s been the best parenting move I’ve made to date.

PRAY RIDICULOUSLY HARD.  I’m more committed than ever to praying for and with my kids.  I know raising my teens into functioning adults is no walk in the park.  I’m giving up before I get started and gonna cry out for Divine help and guidance constantly.

LEAVE NO VACATION DAYS FOR TOMORROW.  I’m going to get away with my wife and kids every chance I get.  I want to camp. Ride bikes. Enjoy the snow and the beach and the mountains and the rivers.  Play pretty much anywhere I can afford to go.  This season will be gone before I know it.  I decided that I want zero vacation days on the books when I hit 50.  I’m gonna exhaust all of them.

PASS THE BATON OF FAITH AND GET OUT OF THE WAY.  My goal is to stop running my kid’s lives in the next decade.  I could write for days in this concept, but bottom line is that I’m going to consciously continue to give them the chance to process through the “why” questions of life.  I want to do less for them and equip them to do more.  My greatest goal is for them to mature into thinking, passionate, and intentional followers of Jesus who have an adult faith and life.  Getting there is a maze I might not be able to navigate, but I’m firmly setting my sights there regardless.  

LISTEN AND LEARN.  I’m getting all the mentors around me I can find who have been there and done that.  I have no misconception that somehow you can create a family by formula, but I’m going to do everything I can to learn from the victories and even the warnings and regrets of every parent I respect who is further down this road than I am.

So… to those who have been there and done that or are in the thick of this with me… anything you’d add to my list?

To my faithful friends of my blog, here’s an update:  Blog was silent last week for a FULL week of ministry with our high school students.  So much to share there, but no time because this week it will be silent for a FULL week of family vacation and camping in Santa Barbara.

Stories and lessons to come in the weeks ahead.  HAPPY EASTER! The tomb is empty so our hearts don’t have to be.  Praise God.

I walked downstairs this morning to find this playing on our kids computer.  Evidently Tyler saw it at his Middle School and was playing it for his brothers and sister.  I’ve been laughing for hours.

If you haven’t heard or seen LMFAO’s “I’m sexy and I know it”, it won’t’ be as funny.  Half of the reason that it’s so funny is because the actual LMFAO music video is a huge teen sensation and so wrong in just about every message it portrays- regardless of it’s tongue-in-cheek lyrics.   In fact, the video is so wrong that I can’t show it or even use it in my youth ministry because I don’t need male genitalia in thong underwear shaking all over the screen.  So, you can skip the video and save yourself just fine.  

But this elmo spoof thing tuns it into something so innocent it’s hysterical.   Don’t stop watching until wiggle wiggle wiggle becomes ….  HAAAA  just go watch it!!!  So stinking funny. 

I can hardly wait to use as a bit in our next series in Encounter… which is our sexuality and dating series called “bow-chicka-bow-wow”.   Going to be the best youth group moment ever.

Sesame Street is my hero. 🙂

Well, I broke down and read the Hunger Games. I was hearing all kinds of hype and read a ton of reviews about the movie and I thought, I’d better get in the pool and swim before I comment on the water content. So I did.

I bought the kindle version and read it in 4 sittings in 24 hours. It was addicting.

Here’s my plot summary minus spoilers:

It takes place in a post nuclear war North America that has been divided up into 12 districts that are separated by vast expanses of wilderness, traveled between by train, and walled in by electrified fences. It feels like holocaust Germany to me. There were 13 of these districts, but one of them is a poisoned wasteland that is now uninhabitable after an attempt to overthrow the Capital’s harsh rule.

The Capital of “Panem” is portrayed as a materialistic, ego filled, plastic surgery addicted luxury land of plenty where the people arrogantly live off the enslavement of the other 12 districts and the goods they provide. For “sport” and as a punishment for the rebellion, each of the districts have to annually send one 12 to 18year old boy and one girl into the “Hunger Games”: a large televised reality show drama where 24 teens must fight to the death, emerging one victor who then is paraded around like some kind of hero. It’s like the Roman Coliseum really.

Told from the point of view of the 16 year old teenage heroine, Katniss, she is humble and simple and lives in he poorest of the districts and ends up in the hunger games when she volunteers to take the place of her 12 year old sister who had won the lottery and was surely headed to her death. Enter Katniss Everdeen and cue the rest of the story…

At first, I didn’t really know what it was about it that compelled me so much, but it sucked me in from the beginning and I couldn’t put it down. So I started analyzing my own emotions and here’s what I think about the book and why it speaks to so many of the students I work with at least. I haven’t seen the movie, so I have no idea about that, but here’s my take on this book and what it says about our culture.

FOOD IS A LUXURY BILLIONS CANNOT AFFORD: I was surprised by how much time was spent on food. Maybe that’s why it’s called the Hunger Games. But there is a theme in this book that reminds the reader that food on a table is a luxury. Katniss lives in the poorest of the districts where she is a day away from starvation all the time. The contrast between her life of need and the life of luxury of those in the Capital could not be clearer. Having personally spent 60 days in Uganda and now having friends who live in mud huts and have very little to eat, with starvation on their door front everyday, this theme spoke loud and clear to me. The food in my fridge is a luxury that literally billions cannot afford. The articulate reader will find themselves looking at disgust with the people in the Capital and an all too familiar reflection in the mirror. (Ie: re-read my summary above and think of Panem as the U.S.)

1984 SOMEONE IS WATCHING YOU FACTOR: There is an erie sense in this book that you’re always being watched and that those in control could kill you any minute if they wanted to. It reminded me of reading 1984 in high school. It makes you wonder who is really in control of your reality. I think most people wonder this on some level when they think about God.

THE ABSENTEE PARENT: Katniss is a young woman who has been forced to grow up faster than most. Her dad died tragically at a young age in a coal mining accident. Her mom spiraled into depression and Katniss became the sole provider for herself and her little sister. To this end, she perfects hunting and cooking and becomes a skilled and capable adult. She is both mom and dad to her sister really. And honestly, if you wanted to write a book and have connection with a vast majority of American teens, then write the heroine as a teenage girl in a single parent home without a Dad. You just described at least 1/2 of the young women I work with today.

THE LACK OF DESCRIPTIVE VIOLENCE OR SEX: Lots of people die. In fact 11 on day one of the games. But that’s about all you know. I think there’s only 3 or 4 deaths in the whole thing described with much detail. Despite the fact that Katniss finds herself naked in the book on several occasions, the author never describes her naked features. Ever. It was really pleasantly surprised. I don’t think the script writers had to work hard to keep it to PG-13. The book isn’t much more than that honestly.

MY CONCLUSION: At first, I thought I was going to find the book to be morbid. But what I really found was a book that as I engaged it, reminded me of the power of allegory. I have no idea what the author’s primary intentions were. But I could lead a lot of really great discussions with teens based on the issues that arise in this book. There are those with noble character to be applauded, there is evil to be identified and called out, there are tests of wills, there is bad stuff that happens to good people, there is love to be considered and choices to be made. There is selfishness and selflessness. Seriously, this book is chalked full of great visuals. Actually would be pretty interesting to do a summer book club or something and invite students to discuss the feelings and issues this book brings to surface when considered as an allegory, instead of merely a novel.

If you haven’t read it, I’d encourage you to. It’s not a chick flick and it’s doesn’t glorify or patronize the horrors it describes, but it is eye opening and it will help you engage those who read it in some cool ways if you choose to seize them. Case and point would be the random table discussion I had on it before service with some students last Sunday. Game on.

Is easier said than done.  But this TED video from a man who was on the plane that miraculously landed in the Hudson River in NY in 2009, narrows it down pretty well.

I have no idea where Ric is in terms of faith, but if you- like me- are trying to honor God with every moment, loving your spouse, and care passionately about being a great parent, then this is as close to a mandatory 5 minute listen as you’re ever gonna find on the internet.

Hey Ric Elias, I’m with you in this! I’ll raise my cheap wine glass and agree with this!  I’ll strive with you to be a great Dad.  With you in that. I’ll seize the day for this goal everyday.  Thanks for the reminder.

(PS: I found it this via my friend Michele who has a great blog post on being present as a parent. Thanks Michele.  It’s worth the read too)