Well, this is my second trip to Uganda in 6 months and I’m starting to get it.   Here’s why I feel a little bit like a local lately.

• FRIENDS:  I have friends downtown and around town.  Artists we’ve bought work from, drivers we’ve hired, places we eat, people we’ve worked with in the villages and orphanages, tried and true freinds I’ve done some life with for weeks on end.  I’m being stopped and noticed by name.  It’s kinda fun to live in a small townish context. 

• BODA CONFIDENCE:  One of the modes of transportation around Uganda is a sea of moped/motorcycles that will take you anywhere you want to go for a fee.  They are constantly asking if you want a ride.  I now know how to tell them no and how to get one via a simple glance of the eye or tip of my hand if the answer is yes.  My claim to fame is today I got a man to bring us 4 boda’s to take all 8 of us to dinner without saying a word to him while he was going the opposite way at 20 mph.  He left, went out of sight around the corner and then came back with 3 friends a couple of minutes later.  So each adult piled on and then sandwiched a kid between us and the driver- just like the locals do- and off we went to dinner.  So much fun.  I even got my driver’s cell phone # so that I could get him to come back for us when dinner was over.  Woo hoo!

• BARTERING:  I’ve begun to barter better.  Sometimes I just pay the full price to be nice or because I want to make an impression after I haggle with them and tell them I’m going to let them win.  But today, when I landed the boda rides, I haggled for the price first.  I was stoked that we payed more than the locals but less than the gullable tourist.  Score.

• LANGUAGE:  Because this time 50% of my roommates speak Lugandan, I’m learning the language more out of necesity.  I’m enjoying myself and can tell my kids several key phrases or words.  I’m still not anything close to fluent and constantly wish Uganda’s national language was Spanish, but I’m scraping away at it.

• PARENTING:  Being the parent of two local kids who are also known around the community through school and orphanage workers and such has been fun too. They are loved and noticed as we go by stores and shops.   Shannon met their teacher one day.  We’ve met classmates and neighbors and more.   (Side note:  My daughter lost a tooth today her brother fell and bonked his head while running.  Both were a little tramatic for a few minutes for them and gave us a random chance to comfort them and help them get back to a state of normalcy.  That too makes you feel like you really are the parent these kids need.)

Tomorrow we go to my sisters in Kampala for a day to hang out and get the lay of the land.  We’re going to be staying at their house an using their friendship network for the last 2 weeks here- starting the middle of next week.   Should be fun.   Maybe by the time we leave there, we’ll be “locals” in two cities in Uganda :). 

Well, my fourth round of being a new parent has started so much differently than the other 3. TJ was our first and Shannon did the work, and if you ask her, she’ll tell you I was horribly unhelpful. Tyler was number 2 and he came via emergency c-section. Dude flipped around in the womb and was out in like 19 minutes from the time of our arrival at the hospital. Jake hung on for dear life and decided to accept the eviction notice while Shannon was in tears at the hospital and he was like 5 days overdue.

Now, the last two [I pray :)] have come to us via adoption at 5 years old. They speak broken Lugandan and broken English. Their accent is so cute I want to freeze them so they don’t change. They are a joy to be with. Really, I can’t imagine the stuff I would have missed out on if we didn’t go through with this adoption thing. I think God would have a long list of stuff to tell me- all regrettable on my part. Thank you to all of you who have and continue to contribute financially and prayerfully and practically to this process. I wish you could be here to see them.

The facebook pics I have posted should tell you that all by themselves.

Here’s my lessons so far:

• Photographing my dark brown kids requires lots of creative lighting. I’m constantly changing settings on my camera to not loose facial features in the shadows. I think I need some lessons and to buy a much better flash 🙂
• Raising kids that are pre-potty trained is a joy all by itself. I can’t fully explain to you the sheer joy it brings me to know I don’t have to teach them how to wipe a butt.
• Speaking of potty or susu… there also is some kind of crazy laughter that goes on deep inside of me when I realize that if my daughter has to go potty, she and her brother are more than willing to drop their drawers and pee in any grassy field available. I love whoever taught my daughter to shamelessly pee in public.
• Last toilet story: my kids are so skinny they can and do both use the toilet at the same time. Today after rest my son was pooping (caca) and she had to pee (susu) and well, she told him to move over and before we could stop, they were sharing. So nice. Yes, ofcourse I have a pic. No I’m not posting it, but it will come back when they are 16 🙂
• Black people are not all black. Some are dark dark dark black. Some are brown. Mine are mostly dark brownish I have decided.
• They have black eyes, which do not have pupils. I think pupils are overrated.
• How does black skin know not to be black on the bottom of hands and the bottom of feet? I bet evolution has some lame answer to that deep question. I’m just gonna blame God. It’s cute though.
• My daughter is not camera shy. She LOVES flowers. She is more girly than I expected since she has grown up in a boy dominated orphanage.
• My son will take a LONG nap if you just help him get the sleeping part started. Rubbing his back works really good.
• I’m really really really glad this is our second time in Uganda. Having met our children 5 months ago in a different context is reaping HUGE dividends.
• I need to learn some Lugandan fast. I’m working hard at it. I don’t want them to lose this piece of their heritage.
• Some more phrases I have learned:
• Wait= Linda [lean dah]
• Let’s Go= Tugende [too gen day]
• Sit Down= Tula Wansi [toola wahnsee]

• Shannon and I have decided that we are going to keep the following phrases in our everyday language with them in Lugandan indefintely.
• Let’s Go= Tugende
• I love you very much= Nkwagala Nnyo
• Thank you= Webale
• Come Here= Jangu Wano

• I think California should have fewer cars and more “boda boda” drivers who are waiting for me on any corner to take me places for a few shillings. Oh… and the zero rules about what or how many people you can fit on one is fun too!

• Money spent turning clubbed feet into walking feet is a gift I’m not sure you can actually quantify in financial terms. Our orphanage fixed these village kids two feet and it opened an otherwise spiritually closed village on Lake Victoria into a fruitful missions field. What a miracle. What a joy to see two kids that 6 months ago could not walk, now be almost fully healed.

• My kids are deathly afraid of water. We have a lot of work to do to teach them to swim.

Finally, an update on bonding. It’s going GREAT!!! They now both search for our hands, actively cuddle with us, and pass out kisses. We are still praying for some more eye contact from our son, but beyond that… we are VERY VERY ENCOURAGED! Keep up the praying!

Well, today was day one of the Berrytribe legitamately going Tribal.  Our kids are now sleeping in their bunk beds in our room and so here’s the scoop. 

THE ITINERARY:

• Shannon and I started the day with our last few hours of “just us” time, doing some shopping and hanging out downtown.  We found a local artist we liked and contracted him to do two paintings for us:  one large one for our family room and one smaller one for our daughter’s room.
• Then we went to the orphanage and grabbed our kids.
• They wanted to go to our room so we went back and did some puzzles and stories and then we headed downtown for lunch.
• After lunch we swung by a local seamstress shop and hired her to make coordinating traditional African shirts for us to wear in our first family photo when we get back to the states.
• Then it was naptime.  The orphanage has nap time so they went straight to their beds and were instantly quiet.  Amazing.  Our daughter went straight to bed and fell asleep. Her twin brother however just layed there until I invited him to sleep on me, and in a matter of minutes, he was out.
• Finally, we did return to the orphanage today one last time to get the kid’s some exrtra clothes, say our goodbyes, let the kids give their friends some suckers, and then pass out hugs and kisses before it was time to leave.  
• Then we had a local Ugandan dinner cooked by our guest house, some play time, our first bath experience, and then bed.

THE LESSONS SO FAR:

• Our daughter is affection motivated.  Our son is task oriented.  Sounds like text book men and women stuff, but it’s 100% true for them.
• Our kids will share everything, unless they feel threatened, which will bring out the animal inside.
• I need to learn more Lugandan, so I can know what my kids are saying about me behind my back 🙂  It’s also really hard to parent when charades is sometimes more effective than words.  Time to get creative. 
• I am famous.  🙂  Three separate times on this trip, someone from the community has stopped me on the street downtown by yelling, “Pastor Brian! Is that you?”   Totally weird.  Guess we met a few people with great memories last summer.
• Ugandan’s are genuinely nice people
• I wish I had a bigger budget, house, and 500 arms.  It’s hard not to bring all the kids home.  
• My son is as skinny as a twig and eats like a horse. I think he has a hole in his foot it squeezes out while he runs. 

 Ok.. that’s all for now.  13 new pics up on facebook.

Tomorrow is the first day we bring our kids from the orphanage back to the guest house to stay with us… FOREVER!  From then on, they are with us until we go home to SD.

I’m not sure who it is bigger for, us or them. 

• For Shannon and I, it means the full time responsibility of caring for 2 more kids is never again negotiable.  They are our responsibility in raising them to be kids who love and serve God.  What a ride this thing called faith is.

• For them it means they will never again return to the only place they’ve ever called home.  So as not to induce fear in them that we might leave them there at the orphanage, we have been told we cannot take them back until much later in life to visit.  So since they arrived in the orphanage at only 1 month old, the kids will leave behind all they have ever really known as home, the “moms” who have loved and raised them, the beds they have slept in, most of the friends they have, the safety of their walls, and so much more will all be left behind.  Shannon and I may swing in during nap time to say hi and give them some status updates to the “moms”, but our kids will not go back.  

I feel a lot of pressure to do this right.  The phrase, “You only get one chance to make a first impression”  has a whole new meaning in this context.  I’m praying daily that what I’ve learned in the last 11 years as a dad will give me some wisdom as we take on two more.  I’m praying for strength and discernment to avoid mistakes and Big Grace when I inevitably fall short.  Good thing God is bigger than me.

Keep praying.

PS: facebook adopton process updated with 14 new photos.

We made it and we have officially met our kids.

• THANK YOU to all of you who have been and continue to pray for us.
• THANK YOU for your kind notes and comments.
• THANK YOU to all of those who have supported us financially in a mutual sacrifice we are making together.
• WE could not do this without the investment of all 3 groups above. THANK YOU.

By way of an update, I’ll be brief but try and be thorough. We’ve been asked not to post pictures of our process while in Africa. In addition, dates, times, names and locations will be left out of the posts for the sake of the process in the next month. Here’s the highlights, minus those details thus far:

LEAVING HOME. We left our boys in the care of my Dad for the first few weeks and then Shannon’s Mom the last few weeks. Before we left, we did one final order of business. We took our last all white family pic. (minus Zeus ofcourse)

SPEAKING OF PICTURES: you can find a beginning picture set on my facebook, but it’s limited in viewing capacty to “my friend list”. If you want them and don’t have facebook, you can either open an account and click the link on the side of this page and then add me as a friend or you can wait for a month and I’ll post them here when we get back in the states.

BERRYTRIBE OVERHAUL. Shannon and I have been calling our family the Berrytribe ever since we used that as our first e-mail address. Never did I realize it would be foreshadowing for the future. Our family is distinctly more tribal as we adopt two kids from a Literal African Tribal community. Too funny and so much fun. Meeting our kids has been crazy scary too. I think all 4 of us are just trying to figure it out and start living like the family we feel confident that God is calling us to be.

THE SYSTEM: We are at the mercy of the courts, judges, and people in power regarding our formal process. We have to meet with a judge, then wait a few days for their ruling, then have the ruling filed, then go the the US Embassy and get our passports and visas for the kids along with a special letter signed. Keep praying that this process is not delayed anymore than it already has been. We are still on track for an ontime departure, but we received a 10 day delay right off the bat on arrival day one. Conseqently, we can’t afford a second one of those. So, pray that the system’s wheels are well greased so we can bring these precious kids home.

MEETING DAD: We met the kid’s biological Dad who has been brought in from 8 hours North for the trial portion of this process. Mom is not around and abondoned the kids and their dad at birth. It’s a long story we’re trying to learn for ourselves which deserves a whole post in the future once I get all the facts sorted out. It is by far the weirdest part of this process. We have no judgement to cast and pray that the view from this side of heaven is one of unity and partnership with God, not failure and condemnation. We are here to help these kids grow up into God’s design according to His Will and in a way, we are partnering with their Dad to do this. That is a complicated emotional, physical, and spiritual process. Keep praying.

LESSONS IN LANGUAGE: We have begun learning a little bit of their language and teaching them some of ours. Here’s the highlights

• thank you = Webale (wehbaley)
• I love you very much = nkwagala nnyo (enkwahgalah enyo)
• come here = jangu wano (yangoo wahno)
• and my first phrase I taught my girl: When I ask, “Who’s little girl are you?” The answer is, “Daddy’s” She’s already got it down just 1 1/2 days into it. That’s my girl. She gives me kisses too!