Several times this week in conversations with other adults, I’ve brought up something that we have taught our summer camp counselors for years.  It is that as mentors, we need to wear at least 4 different hats or roles as we invest in students.  Sometimes these hats shift in a moments notice, sometimes they go in seasons.  But nonetheless, we all need to be all four at various times.

PASTOR:  this is the role when you’re the spiritual advisor.  You’re directing them back to God’s Word, the leading of the Holy Spirit, and how faith might play into their life at this juncture.  Every Christian parent, mentor, and coach wears this hat when they guide their child or player into the image of God.  When we delegate this hat to only those with this as their professional title, we abdicate the power of God in us to shape the life of a student.

PAL:  everyone loves this role. It’s what sometimes a younger leader working with teens may default to.  It’s mistakenly seen as the goal quite often.  However while it’s not the summation of what a mentor is striving to be for a student, there is great wisdom in being a trusted confidant and friend.  The pal role is fun, it’s just not the only role we have.

PARENT:  even if your’e not actually the parent, you’re sharing the wisdom of life.  This is what parents do.  Parents provide and protect for their kids, often relying on the wisdom of their own experience to guide their actions. When a mentor shares their “been there, done that” wisdom with a student so that they can move their life towards a preferred future, they are acting like a loving parent.  Every student needs this kind of wisdom from their mentor.

POLICEMAN:  no offense to cops- but in mentoring, no one really likes this role.  It’s the “I’m sorry, but you can’t do that” role.  It’s the “because I said so” statement of a parent.   It’s the laying down of the law, the correction of the wrong doer, and the disher-outer of consequences.  It’s not fun, but it’s also not negotiable in leadership.  Every loving mentor has to draw lines and say, “I’m sorry, but if you want to do that, I can’t go there in support of that with you.”

So, if you’re a mentor of any kind, here’s a couple of questions to process these roles:

1. Which role do you most naturally default to?  What does that tell you about your own passions?

2. What is the hardest role for you to embrace?  What steps do you need to take to increase your effectiveness in that area?

3. Can you think of specific times when you’ve had to wear one of these hats for a season?  How do you know which role is most needed and when?

Last Friday I had the privilege of hanging out with Kurt and Jake- two friends who work for Saddleback Church about 2 hours North of us.  We’ve known one another for years now, crossing paths from time to time at conferences and training events for youth ministry.   They are now filming a weekly podcast through Simply Youth Ministry- the same publisher that I’m currently in the process of writing a book for that is due out in early 2012.

It’s entitled “As for Me and My [Crazy] House.  – guarding your heart, marriage, and family from the demands of ministry”

So that, among other things, led them to call and ask me if I would be a guest on their show and talk about this juggling act we all do in ministry.  Since I was local enough, I drove up and hung out with them for about a 20 minute interview and some chattin’ off camera afterwards.

It was tons of fun and a joy to do.  It’s “Episode 6- released Sept 4, 2011” and if you want to give the interview a listen, here’s 3 ways you can do that:

#1. Subscribe or download the video here on itunes.

#2. Subscribe or download the audio here on itunes.

#3.  Skip itunes and watch it directly on their website here:  simply youth ministry show.  Fast forward to minute 12 or so if you wanna just cut to my interview.

If you give it a listen, I’d love to hear your thoughts and perspective on the issue too.

YES!  I’m so glad.

Here’s what you need to know if you wanna volunteer in our student ministries… [besides the fact that WE ARE SO EXCITED to hear this and besides the fact that we NEED YOU]  you should also know that:

YES IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME AND PREP.  No, you don’t have to do all the work yourself.  We give you everything you need to prep in 30 minutes so you can spend all the rest of your minutes loving on Students and helping them study their Bible as they connect their life with God and your small group.  But it does take some time and devotion to be fulfilling.

WE NEED A LITTLE COMMUNICATION. 

• HOW’S IT GOING?  just keep us in the loop so we can pray and help you.  E-mail, txt, carrier pigeon, note pinned to your kid’s shirt… u name it… we’re good with it.  
• TEAMWORK ROCKS… especially when you communicate with you co-leader and agree on a plan.  Then communication is really quite lovely- like English tea and crumpets.  
• DATABASE STUFF… we’ll teach you, but it’s a cool online resource we have to connect you easily with the life of your small group. Oh you’re gonna love this communication tool.  It’s so easy a freshman can do it. 
• IF YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A STUDENT… especially if you think there’s abuse or danger that needs professional or special attention, let us help you make the right choice.  You don’t have to stress or go it alone.  Communicate your concerns with us. 
• WITH FAMILIES… You’d be surprised how much you might understand and know how to help a student by understanding their family life.  So don’t hang up on mom, ask her about her day.  She’ll send you flowers for Christmas… I swear it’s true. 

We had our small group leader training last night for our middle and high school ministry.  It’s always a couple weeks before the launch of small groups and each time we do it, we tweak it a little.  We have new ministry changes to communicate and a variety of things that are important to us that we communicate to them.

I’ll take the next 3 blog posts to unload a few of the things we pass out.

Here’s FOUR REASONS WE DO SMALL GROUPS.  What are yours?

QUESTIONS:  Small groups are a great place for students to express their doubts and ask their questions about faith.   A good leader is one who flips a faith rock over and causes students to wrestle with the real questions of life.  If our small groups are not asking the hard questions, they’re missing a huge piece of their potential.  This requires intentionality on the leaders part, asking wise questions, and giving students enough time to both think and ask their own.

IDENTITY:  Our church and our student ministries are too large for everyone to be known by everyone.  So, small groups are an intentional space for our students know and be known by a few.  Small groups are a place where people can truly know they matter and their story has a place in God’s Kingdom.

BONDING:  There is nothing like a shared experience for bonding.  When you share food, stories, activities, and life together, small groups thrive and students bond.  Small groups can and should be fun spaces for students to grow.

SPIRITUAL GROWTH:  The best place for us to consistently and specifically impact the life of a student in regards to their spiritual development is through small groups.  The chances we have to consistently encourage and challenge a student to continue to grow in their faith are unparalleled in our ministry through this context.

I’m currently coaching 2 of my 5 kid’s soccer teams. This means that I’m at practice at 4:15pm twice a week to set up the field and get ready to coach 19 players for 3 1/2 hours. We practice in the outfield of several baseball fields at a local school.