Archives for September 2013

I meet weekly during the school year with each of my kids one-on-one.  Hands down I think it’s the single best parenting move I have ever done.

I wrote about it in “As for Me and My Crazy House” and a lot of people ask me, “What exactly do you do with your kids?”  My answer: “It depends on the kid and the day.”  All of them go with me to the same local coffee shop.  We call it “Joe’s place” cuz he’s the owner and he knows us all by name and our orders by heart.

But for the most part, after we grab something to drink, we find an table and then we do some silly stuff.  Like I ask a few “Would you Rather” questions from books, iphone apps, or just crazy junk I make up myself.  My go-to as of late is a series of books called “Weird but True” that also has an iphone app now too.  I just read a fact or tweak one slightly and then say, “Is that weird or true?”  Super easy to do and fun for all my kids, even my high schooler gets stumped.

Then, I love to ask this question:  “Is there anything we should be talking about that we’re not talking about?”  That one has launched some GREAT conversations with my kids.

We’ve also used the “one minute bible for students” and read those entries and talked about them.  That’s a great resource for this time with an entry for every day of the week that literally can be read in a minute.

But the thing that I’ve enjoyed the most lately is a thing I call “Pick a Numba”   Here’s how it works.  I have a series of books that have numbered entries that are each about a paragraph or two long.  I tell my kid to “pick a numba” and then I go to whatever number they pick.  Then I write their name and the date down on the entry (so I never discuss the same kid with the same number twice) and then one of us reads it.  We discuss it for maybe 5 minutes and then I pick up another book and we go again.  This goes on for about 30 minutes and then we go home or I drop them off at school or whatever.

If you want to play “Pick a Numba”, here’s some books I use.  They all can be found at simplyyouthministry.com   Oh.. and the only that doesn’t have a 99 in the title is also the one we almost never “read”.  It is the “Answers to Teenagers 50 Toughest Questions.”  For that one, I simply ask the toughest question and ask them how they would answer it.  That’s more valuable to me than the “answer” anyway.

Regardless of the resource you use. I’d encourage you to give this a try.  I think you, your kids, and your family will be beyond blessed by your investment. I sure have.

When was the last time you asked, “Will it ever stop?”

Maybe it was after a painful diagnosis?  Maybe it was during finals week. Maybe it was after a family fight or when another round of layoffs went through your work.  I don’t know when the last time you asked “Will it ever stop?” or “When is this going to end?”, but my guess is it was not on a good day.  It was not on a day when everything went ridiculously right.  On those days, we usually say things like, “Pinch me, I must be dreaming” or “I hope this day never ends“.  Instead, it’s the tough days, the difficult seasons, the moments when the pressure won’t stop and you just wonder if you can make it another day.  Those are the days we wonder, “Will it ever stop?”

To be honest with you, I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately.  Mostly, due to the constant and perpetual breaking and stealing of my home and cars over the last 18 months.  In that time period, here’s a partial list of what has broken or been stolen:

• My house water main broke 3x
• The sprinkler system died and killed all our grass and lots of plants in the process
• 2 sidewalks have been removed to fix water damage
• Oven and stove
• Microwave
• Dishwasher
• Wash machine
• All the lower kitchen cabinets, sheetrock, and countertops due to undetected dishwasher leak that insurance denied coverage on
• AC blowers/fans in truck and yukon
• Power steering in my truck
• Water pump in my truck
• 10 other things on my truck that I don’t feel like typing- including a cracked engine block
• DSLR Camera lens straight up died and won’t work
• The yukon xl engine and transmission died and had to be replaced
• Our couch (just after the warranty ran out) started to self destruct.
• My house was broken into and they stole all our computers, tons of jewelry, some tools, money and my car

I wish that list was exhaustive for my lifetime or even that it had a period at the end so I could say, “I’m so glad that season is over”.  But, it doesn’t seem to be stopping.  My family vehicles are still breaking.  The drain from our AC unit in the house managed to clog itself over labor day weekend and is now spewing water all over the garage.  Yeah… it makes you want to scream. Truth is, some days I do.

Along the way, while my wife and I have had plenty of not-so-fun days dealing with this stupidity, we have also pretty much come to the conclusion that the answer to “Will it ever stop?” is this: “Nope.  It’s not going to stop. Not here anyway.”

Jesus warned us as much.  In John 16:33 he told us we’d have trouble and that peace comes from another realm.  In Matthew 6, in the sermon on the mount, he said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”   This call from Jesus has become somewhat of a motto of mine at this point.   I’ve been living in a home and driving in cars that are easily damaged by water, destroyed by rust, and taken by those who want to steal them and I can either try and fix that, or I can admit that “fixing it” only solves a temporary problem.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a nice car. I’d love it if my yard was not a desert wasteland and if my kitchen didn’t look like a water damage bomb went off in it.  And I’m working to do some of that, but evidently, that’s not how life is going to roll anytime soon in my world.   Even if I fixed it and put in a new kitchen, the truth is that in 20 years, the next home owner will be saying it’s old, outdated, and in desperate need of replacement.  My cars will wear out, my house is in a perpetual state of falling apart.  Everything in this world is that way.  It simply can’t hold my hopes for peace or value. It’s not designed to and money won’t truly fix anything of value.

This world cannot give what it does not possess.  The peace we all long for is not found in this world, so I refuse to find it there.  Instead, I’ll keep loving my wife, raising my kids, and fixing my junk with one priority in mind:  I’m putting my hope in the God of another realm.

Be careful what you store your treasure in.  Not all vaults are created equal.

(BTW: if you’d like to hear some of this story and a message I gave on re-engaging God in a series at our church, you can go here to give it a listen.)