That’s my greatest fear. Not an early death, but a pointless life. A life spent consumed by stuff that doesn’t matter. A life spent missing the point.
I believe in potential. I believe in it to the point that it is one of the main reasons I do youth ministry. I believe in the potential of young people. I believe they have a shot at living up to it when they reorient themselves toward their Creator, thus irreversibly change themselves and countless others around them. However, I also believe that most of what a young life is capable of, sadly goes untapped, and I want to challenge them to let God fill that potential to overflow.
But perhaps, one reason that I want so bad for students to tap into their God given potential, is that I personally fear that I might leave so much untapped in my own life.
I fear that I might:
- Live in a nice house, and miss God’s bigger plan for my financial resources.
- Have a happy marriage, and miss the joy of an truly intimate one.
- Settle for raising my boys, and miss the chance to journey with them to manhood.
- Do ministry that pleases people, and miss the risks that please God.
- Exchange serving at church, for truly doing life with the Holy Spirit as my guide.
- Live with contentment, and miss the peace that surpasses understanding.
- Operate like a consumer, when Jesus wanted me to be a redeemer.
- Live a full and busy life, and miss the fulfilling and simple life of a one who is fully devoted to God.
But deep down… really deep down… I’d like to minimize what God has to cover up with grace due to my sins of omission. I fear that I might miss the BEST God desired for me to experience, because I was distracted by the “good” of our world instead. I fear even more that the mirror will lie to me. That I’ll miss it because I couldn’t (or wouldn’t) see it, and as a result, my hindsight will be filled with regret, instead of rejoicing.
i am a promise
i am a possibility
i am a promise, with a capital P
i am a great big bundle of potentiality
and i am learnin’
to hear god’s voice
and i am tryin’
to make the right choice
i am a promise to be
anything god wants me to be
(remember that popular christian kids song from a decade or two ago?)
Nope, I missed that song. But it fits my passion for students and my own desires to be used by God. Maybe you can sing it for me the next time we have coffee. I’ll even buy if you promise to sing š And I’ll throw in a generous tip if you are wearing your kilt and sing loud enough for others to enjoy it too.
…junior asparagus sang a rendition of it in one of the veggietales cd’s. honestly, i didn’t realize it had pre-existed; i thought junior was the original composer. but good thoughts on your biggest fear – i think that should be everyone’s biggest fear. (why can i now hear someone from AGO’s voice in my head interjecting, “guys, i think everyone’s biggest fear should be not knowing the Lord.”)