Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


Ever wonder if anything you say matters?  Like does anything you do or teach even remotely change a student’s world?

Well I do and two weeks ago, after our high school Sunday morning in Encounter, I walked up to a group of guys sitting at a table in our room and said, “What up fellas?  Thanks for coming.  Did you enjoy Encounter today?”  To which one of them replied, “Dude, I wrote you this story” and handed me a sheet of paper he found that we used for people bingo that he recorded the story upon the back of.    

I offer it to you unedited now for your encouragement:

Once upon a time, there was a sloth named Tim.  When no one was around, he liked to soak himself in marinara sauce and pretend he was a meatball.  But one day, he ran out of marinara sauce.  This made Tim very sad.  So, he decided to run to Albertson’s!  That way he could have all the marinara sauce he could dream of! So, he went to his local gun store, and purchased 20 pounds of c4, a automatic 50 cal sniper rifle, 2 hand grenades and a big bag of onions.  His plan was to walk into Albertson’s, throw the onions at the security cameras so they would cry and not see him.  Rush in to the “sauce” section and fill his duffel bag with all the Ragu he could get his hands on.  The day came, and he got into his sloth-mobile and drove to the local Albertson’s.  He rushed in, armed with his bag of onions, and proceeded hucking them at he cameras.  But there was a problem.  The security cameras were onion proof! Cops rushed to the scene and put Tim in cuffs.  He was taken to the sloth prison where he would spend the next 25 years to life.  The End.   

I know, I too was profoundly moved and thought, “Wow, my sermon was riveting and life-altering.  I should keep serving Jesus doing this for a long time.”

Then this last Sunday we started our new dating/sexuality series in Encounter we have titled this:

That same student came to me after service, this time finding me and said, “Dude. Great talk.  Really got me thinking today.”

Moral of the story: I guess it must be, “Talk about sex or freshman guys will draw stories about guns, onions, and lazy animals instead”.

 I’m gonna re-read this post in 8 years and ask myself, where is that student now.   Evidently he should be writing really weird fiction for sponge bob square pants and have a very healthy sexual identity / dating life.  Ha ha.

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