Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


I hurt.

Wednesday I got a call asking if I had time to go to court to support a friend whose marriage is being strained by domestic violence. I went. I hurt. I hurt for their young kids who wonder why there’s so much anger in the home. I hurt for a husband. I hurt for a wife. I hurt for those around me who seemed to be regulars in the court system and who know their way around due to frequent visits there. I hurt for those who have never seen any other way of life modeled and who have accepted this level of pain as normal. I hurt.

I hope.

I hope in a God who can restore a marriage. I hope in a God who knows more than I do. I hope in dark times that there is a single light at the end of the tunnel leading them to God. I hope in the power of the Holy Spirit to overwhelm the power of sin and death in my life and the life of those around me. I hope this is not “normal”. I hope this is not right. I hope in a God who is bigger than my problems. I hope. It’s all I can do sometimes.

I hurt.

I spent all of today in a house and 2 hospitals. Grieving. Crying. Mourning. Hurting. Hurting for a family that lost 3 small children in a fire. I hurt for a mom who was in the hospital trying to get well from a virus when she watched her rented home burn and her children die while the news reported it to her hospital room. I hurt for a father whose life feels utterly hopeless to him and whose wife is now more sick and pain-filled than anyone could possibly imagine. I hurt for a student who I have tried to mentor and help find life with Jesus so he can get off drugs and alcohol- who made a terrible mistake of which his 3 cousins paid for with their life. I hurt for a young man who now, more than ever, wishes he was dead. I hurt. I hurt deeply today. Deeper than I’ve hurt in a long time. Today was a hard day to be a youth pastor. It was a hard day to be a friend. It was a hard day to understand God. Today hurts.

I hope.

I hope that this is not the end. I hope in a God who promises a resurrection. I hope in a God who does not let evil win. I hope in a God who sees what I do not. I hope in a God who holds a bigger view of life than I do. I hope in a God who holds children I cannot. I hope that the promises of my Bible hold true. I hope for those who in their deep deep deep hurt, turn their life over to God. I hope.

Psalm 33:20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

I hurt. I hope. I yearn for a day when that cycle no longer happens.

Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Today Lord.


  1. hey brian,

    i nearly fell over while reading this, i’m going to be praying as much as I can for Matt and this family.

    i’m not sure why God allows these types of things to happen, but i’m praying He’ll be able to reveal something to this family.

    i’ll be praying for you as well to continue encouraging them every way possible and it won’t bring you down.

    god bless


  2. Hey Brian,

    When i read this i nearly fell over, i’ll be praying as much as i can for matt and his family.

    I’m not sure why God allows these types of things to happen, and I’m hoping right along with you; hopefully he’ll reveal something positive from this tragedy.

    I’ll also be praying for you so that you can continue to encourage this family and lift it up. And that it won’t bring you down.

    God Bless,


  3. Hard stuff Brian. I believe through your compassion God can use you to help those who are hurting.

    Cling to your hope and hopefully it will be contagious to a hurting world.

Leave a Reply