Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


In the most extreme sense, if you sell illegal drugs in CA. and use the money to sponsor hungry kids in poverty around the world, does that make the drug deal right and good?

On a more normal level, does the error on the part of the check-out teller in the store turn your now “free/stolen” goods in your cart into a blessing from God or a flaw in your integrity?

I most recently slammed into this question head long surrounding a TV show that I HATE. Yup… HATE.   I have said before on this blog, I hate both the Bachelor and the Bachelorette TV series.

I hate what they stand for.  I hate the lies they not-so-subtly tell the viewers and the participants about the essence of love, marriage, intimacy, and relationships.  I hate the false hope it gives, the gossip it inspires, and the way it dishonors marriage and turns it into a game show conclusion.

I hate it.

But then I ran across this video…. and now I hate it and have to at least admit… that somehow, God grew a rose in the fertilizer of this show.   Seriously, watch it.  It’s maybe the most inspiring and head scratching 12 minutes I’ve seen in a long time.


So…  it begs the question: do the ends justify the means?



I mean at least 2 people were trying to honor God, remain sexually abstinent toward each other before marriage , and somehow create a real marriage – performed on national television by Sean’s dad who is a pastor- in the midst of a game show that mocks marriage season after season.

Think about it.  Sean even admits that this is a crazy means to this end.  He says, “It’s unnatural to date 25 women at the same time.  It felt wrong.  A lot of the time it felt wrong.”  But… does this wedding change everything and make it right?


Last week, after the most recent season of the Bachelor aired with a new bachelor (Juan Pablo) as the star, I was driving to work when I heard… and I’m not joking… I heard the secular radio show host turn on the joke bit they were doing and begin to rip into this show.  I couldn’t believe it.  I even pulled over my car just to stop and write down what he said on Star 94.1 in San Diego, CA.  In part, he said he didn’t understand what women found so amazing about this show- which he and his fiancé are faithfully following.  As evidence, he said that that last night he watched Juan Pablo dating the final four women, making out and shoving his tongue down their throat, and then he said this…

 “if we changed the name of the show to ‘the pimp daddy’ nothing would be different except women would not get behind the show and think it’s the most amazing romantic thing ever.”


So… if you want a really GREAT conversation starter for you and your teen  or friends or whoever about sexuality, love, marriage, and striving to Honor God in all of it… then go ahead and do this. 

1. Go to youtube and watch several clips of the bachelor together.  Here’s one gossip channel’s recap of a recent episode from this season with Juan Pablo.   Ask them if they’d be a contestant on the show and why or why not?

2. Watch this 12 minute I am Second video with Sean Lowe and then don’t give simple answers to the complex questions it wrestles with.  Just wrestle with them.   Play the role of Devil’s advocate and push them to think deeply about this.

3. Watch this video of Jimmy Kimmel giving them the lie detector test to see if they were abstinent.

4. Then wrestle with what causes love, sex, and marriage to be good and if they ends justify the means.

5. The read the story of the woman caught in Adultery in John 8 and see if Jesus agrees.

Or.. just come on by our dating series this may in Encounter HSM and you can join us as we do it on the weekend.

Either way, let’s agree that we won’t settle for teaching people WHAT to think.  Let’s teach them HOW to think… and regardless of where you land, these videos are a perfect opportunity to do just that.  


  1. No. They don’t.
    And I feel like I’m seriously judging Sean in his video. A piece of me can’t help feeling the “virgin” bachelor was the perfect character for him on the show, which would in turn take the sex pressure off. He had a role to play. (That sounds so judgemental…ugh) But his faith seems to work for him, in a way that I wonder how well it would hold up if it didn’t work for him for a while.
    The show is awful. It’s everything wrong with dating in America. And Sean still lead several other girls to believe he was into them, even if he wasn’t sleeping with them.
    And also not sure how his abstinence is a testimony. Everyone knows “Christians” wait til marriage. (Or at least say they do). But did he love different on the show? Sure – he didn’t hit it and quit it, but he still made out with it and quit it.

    • yup. and per my last post… it’s totally possible to be “morally right” and spiritually dead. Just cuz does xyz moral behavior, doesn’t mean they honor God. But…. somehow we have to acknowledge that while we don’t support all of Sean’s choices, and maybe he might not either at this point…. but I respect the struggle to try and Honor God. I’m not at all sure I always get that right either. But regardless, I still hate this show.

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