Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


Well, this day started rather lovely and unforgettable. We started off with our first (of what would become many) continental breakfasts ordered by us and delivered by a nice man from Mexico, straight to our lovely balcony. Shannon would hide in the bathroom (evidently strangers are not allowed to see you sleeping or standing anywhere in your robe) and I would stop my reading and get the door (I got up early each morning to read by the ocean and enjoy some java). He’d set up and then we’d eat. Danish. Cereal. Fruit. Juice. Java. Lovely.

After eating we went for something we had decided we wanted to try on this cruise that was a first for both of us. We had a couples massage. This meant that the two lovely ladies in the picture gave us a massage while we lied on two tables about 18 inches apart. This was weird on numerous levels:

  1. This was the first time we have both been naked in the presence of others together. Separately we’ve had to strip down for doctors and such, but never both of us for the same visit. Sure, we were covered up by a sheet, but basically- naked in front of strangers. I guess my wife’s fear of the breakfast delivery man doesn’t apply to the masseuse.
  2. They played ocean music on a boom box in the back ground to relax you. The last time someone played soothing ocean music in the background for my wife and I, it was the Lamaze class when she was pregnant with T.J. The whole scene was so fake and ridiculous since they were asking me to whisper to my wife that she needed to relax to the sound of the ocean while in imaginary excruciating pain, that while I was whispering the stuff in my wife’s ears, she started laughing at me and I started laughing so hard we got kicked out of the class. She is still mad at me and blames me to this day for this episode. If I got kicked out of this massage I was going to end up sleeping alone on the balcony all week. But I really bad wanted to crack a few jokes. I bit my tongue the entire time.
  3. They use a lot of oil. Like enough to cook a 20 lb turkey. By the time I was done with this massage, I wasn’t sure if I should step into the sauna to bake for a while or go shower to remove the 1/4 film that was now all over me.
  4. The lovely woman from Thailand, Christina, who gave me my massage kept moving my sheet that was covering me up. She would creatively fold and roll it around so as to expose various portions of my body so she could consequently give them oil and then rub them while I had my face buried in a pile of uniquely stacked towels. I was cool with this until she lifted the thing up to expose my right butt cheek. She then proceeded to oil my entire leg and rub my butt. Then she repeated the process on my other leg and buttock as well. This was really weird. I was not prepared to have my oily butt rubbed by some strange woman. Worse yet, I paid her a lot of money to do it and tipped her when she was done. And it wasn’t even Vegas.
  5. Um… well they then leave and ask you to turn over. Um.. I was not expecting to turn over. Regardless of this thin little cover up sheet thingy they have over me. I was expecting to have my back rubbed. This roll over thing struck fear in me. Not nudity fear cuz I went ot college with like a gazillion roommates who took pretty much all the modesty I had left and flushed it down the toilet… but that’s another story. It’s a different kind of fear here. Anyway, I have lots of funny and ridiculous things I could share right here, but since I have no idea who reads this stuff, so I’m going to omit them… I will say that I spent the remainder of the massage thinking about chores I had to do and dead puppies and other non-exciting items. Not helping much they now had the towel that used to be under my head now blind folding my eyes and covering my face. They also nuked it or something to make it warm.

After our 1 hour and 15 minute massage, we went to our days events at the Mayan ruins which I described in my previous post below.

Then we came back from lunch on shore and 3 of the couples went to Sabatinis- an onboard 16 course Italian dinner restaurant. You pay $25 per person to ditch dinner in the main dining room to have dinner in this restaurant. You pick your salad, your entree, and your desert and then in between all of those courses, there are several others. Totaling like 16. They just come around and deliver up all kinds of various fruit, seafood, vegetables, breads, cheeses, several types of caviar, sardines, and a grip of other stuff. They pass it out to everyone, you eat as much as you want off your plate, and then they load it up with new stuff. It was amazing. I ordered a huge lobster tail and we split a lovely bottle of wine. We all agreed it was well worth it. We grubbed and ate stuff we never would have had even tried had we not experienced this.

When we were done, we waddled out to go dancing.

here’s the photos… no there’s no naked ones. Click on them to get a closer look at the amazing lobster I ate if ya want.

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