Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.


Yep, I just titled this post “boobies”.  Now I will get all kinds of disgruntled porn traffic.

Which will only prove my point further.  
I’ve had a rant stuck inside me for months that I’ve let out in various circles but I’ve been waiting to blog about for forever, but be forewarned, here it comes.
I hate them. 
I’ve pulled them off 10 year-old boys on my soccer teams, called out guys in our high school program for wearing them, and questioned girls who walk proudly with them on- the latest of which was earlier today.  
To mock them, I even bought,, and  Yep, I own them all… cuz I was seriously thinking of starting my own stupid trend to mock the current one.  I was gonna make bracelets and t-shirts with a giant silverback gorilla and his big boobies and raise money for prostate cancer or maybe diabetes or something.   I just hate them so much that I don’t want to risk losing money fighting them with my satire, so I’m a chicken of an entrepreneur and haven’t done anything with my url buying spree yet.  
Wake up!  
No 16 year-old dude is wearing a bracelet that says, “I love boobies” because his mom has breast cancer. That guy didn’t do the breast cancer walk or raise money for breast cancer awareness and if you ask him to give you $10 to fight cancer and skip the bracelet, you’d raise no money.  He will happily check your breasts for suspicious lumps however. 
My grandma lost one of her breasts to cancer.  She was a breast cancer survivor.  We constantly teased her for leaving her foam “replacement” boob everywhere. “Grandma you left your boob in the kitchen again”.  I can’t imagine in a million years wearing a bracelet that says, “I love boobies” around my grandma who only had one.  Maybe I should have bought her one that says, “I love boob”.   
I was in vegas this summer for 5 hours on our way to Idaho and asked this teen guy if I could take his pic in circus circus.  Read the location as an intentional pun on this stupid pic. 

Look… at least he has one that really says it… “I love your boobies”
You know what’s even more astounding than the fact that the NFL chose to sponsor breast cancer and not lukemia or lung cancer and heart disease or drug rehab or anything not directly related to sexuality and cheer leader anatomy… what’s most amazing to me is that they wear pink cleats, pink chin straps, pink pretty much anything…. but not one of them is wearing an “i love boobies” bracelet that I’ve seen.  No one. Go figure.  
Several of high school and Middle Schools in our area agree with me and have BANNED the stupid things.  Oh… and the online pole for nbc san diego dot com attached to the article says the fact that they banned them has “71% of people furious” about it at the point I published this.
It’s a teen thing cuz they love breasts not fighting breast cancer…. but that’s another discussion. This really isn’t about the sexual or reproductive marvels of the female anatomy anyway.
It does.  We’ve been telling them this for years in our culture.
This stupid trend does it the most unashamedly of all.  It says to them, “Hi, when I see you, I see breasts first.”  So we sell all kinds of products and surgeries and you name it, to make the part of you we see and value the most, look more like what american culture demands for beauty.  
Think about it.  
I have an idea.  How about I start wearing one of these bracelets when I teach on Sunday?   Maybe I’ll wear a shirt that says “I love tatas” with it and afterwards we can all go grab lunch at Hooters.  
I’m sure… positive even… that all the girls in our ministry will be thinking, “what a creeper”.  I’ll lose my job on demands that I’m a pervert.  I mean really, now I’m supposed to tell students, “wow, we both love boobies. So we have that in common.”  
Ridiculous.  Absofreakinglootly ridiculous!!!


  1. Anonymous says:

    Hahaha loved this!! But oh man I LOVE the $50 thing!!

  2. I agree with you that these bracelets are about the love of boobs and not about breast cancer. They are disingenuous. Still, I don’t have a problem with teenage boys in my ministry professing that they love boobies. They’re supposed to love boobies. They’re boys.

    Lance Armstrong doesn’t say “I love testicles” because society doesn’t want men to have testicles. That’s why we aren’t supposed to admit that we like boobies. Those teenage boys are embracing “I love boobies” because it’s the only time it’s okay to act like they’re boys. Most of the time they can’t. And if it weren’t for those teenager girls wearing the bracelets (acting like they’re boys, which is more acceptable these days for a girl than for a boy), the boys couldn’t either, guaranteed.

    By the way, who still uses checks? 😉

  3. I didn’t even know boys were wearing these, but I’ll be watching and taking donations from now on too.

  4. fanstinkingtastic.

  5. Awesome Brian!! Marko reposted this. I agree with you 100% and more. I went off one night at youth group about it and then one of my adult leaders showed up with one on! I am bookmarking this and printing it out and handing it any one lame enough to wear one.

  6. And so yet again the church (in that all of us are the church) shows that it’s angry and judgmental and rather lacking in a sense of humor.

    Do I have a problem with the bracelets? Yeah, a little and for largely the same reason you do. Most teens (boys and girls) wear them for the snicker factor.

    So what? These are a symptom not the underlying problem. And as per usual the church has chosen to fly off the handle over the symptom.

    Here’s a better idea – how about using them as a starting point to talk about the issues. Both breast cancer and the sexualization of all young people. How about ministry that doesn’t start with the concept of “…to mock them…”?

    How about giving the benefit of the doubt that some of those 16 year olds might actually be interested in the issue? I’ll stipulate that they’ll be the minority.

    And what are you going to do when you shoot off your mouth about making a donation to breast cancer research and someone looks you in the eye and says “I already have, have you?”

    How well will you have represented Christ in the world at that moment?


  7. Brian,
    You got me with your tweet. Couldn’t agree more, just talked to a student last night at our ministry about them. I said, “Really you love boobies? Do you tell your mom that?”
    Thanks for buying those urls, these things are a setback. Hope all is well with your ministry, and that this blog gets many hits…worth reading.

  8. Anonymous says:

    this is FANTASTIC Brian…thank you for taking this risk…this whole movement infuriates me when it degrades the entire gender like this. God bless you!

  9. Kim Jones says:

    Amen! Awesome post, Brian!

  10. If I didn’t know better, I would mistake that arm in the picture for the arm of one of my 4th grade students. It’s just sick and wrong and I’m most disappointed in the parents who are allowing this kind of nonsense and objectification. What are they thinking?????????

  11. Wow… Thanks for having the courage to send out an important message.

  12. Mike,

    it’s not about young men liking the beauty of a woman or any of the female form. My conversation with my 13 year old son have been similar to what you write.

    My problem is about reducing the women to being valued only by their breasts. In contrast, I don’t believe we do the testical or penis thing because our culture does not objectify men the way we do women. Look at our magazine covers. 90% of them- regardless of the intended audience gender- have women on them.

    anyway…. JP.. I’ll go comment on Marko’s post since that’s where you did the most talking.


  13. if you want…. you can read my response and some more comments on a few other streams that posted part of this blog post.

  14. Fantastic post, and well ranted. 🙂

    If you make ’em, I’ll sport a “I love moobs” bracelet in support of the cause: to point out how ridiculous the campaign really is.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I appreciate the blog. My school was featured on our local news ( after a suspension. These bracelets were not created to send a good message, just a controversial one so they could be all over the news. I’ve had family members die from colon cancer, but I don’t wear the vulgar term bracelet for that!

  16. Bahahaha! You made me roll on this one. Thanks!

    Ingenius that you bought those domains too!


  17. Okay maybe this is true. But have any of you actually taken the time to talk to any of those kids. I wear these bracelets, and I am a girl. Does it make me a pig of a girl? Does it make me lesbian?… I think not! I lost my grandmother because of breast cancer, so i proudly wear these bracelets to raise awareness. So go ahead and poke fun and ridicule the bracelets, but maybe just maybe think about it next time. Maybe whoever is wearing that bracelet that you hate actually was impacted by breast cancer.


    A 14 year old who wants to make a difference

  18. Anonymous says:

    EYouthWNY nailed it you judgmental bastards.

  19. dear mr. anonymous,

    I posted your comment so you could feel confident that your views are heard. I’m also guessing that you and EYouthWNY don’t wear the bracelet, don’t give money to breast cancer research, and don’t actually talk to any of the teens wearing these bracelets.

    You call it judgement. I’ll keep calling it truth.

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