Archives for March 2013

While teaching on As For Me and My Crazy House last weekend, I reminded my peers [as I reminded myself] that the healthiest thing that any of us can do for any relationship is bring the best and healthiest “me” to the table.  In other words,  if I want my relationships to reflect the character of God, then I should bring the most Godly “Me” possible to the relationships.  The truth is, two broken people don’t make a beautiful mosaic, they simply make a mess.

To this end, I told them that if someone asked to meet with me, and I had scheduled in my calendar that I had a meeting with a friend, that I would naturally tell them “NO”, that slot is taken.  However, if that same slot had something that was just for me, I would likely bump “me” every time to meet with them, as if “me time” was unnecessary.  But, this reflects a practical pattern of my unhealthy life, not a theological reality I believe.  I don’t think it’s more Godly to ditch my own soul care to tend to the care of someone else.

This “aha” came for me when I discovered that in the second greatest commandment, Jesus actually called me to “love others as I loved myself” [Mark 12:31].  At which point, I began to realize that “loving others like I loved me” would be a horrible way to love someone.  This needed to change.

So, rather off-the-cuff I told them to avoid feeling guilty, they should just “name their soul” and schedule appointments with it in their calendar like they do other people.  This way they wouldn’t feel guilty protecting that time as sacred and telling others they were already booked.  It sounded so fun to me, that I wrote it down as an impromptu gift from God.

So, when someone says, “Hey Brian, can we meet Wednesday at 4pm?”, I can look at my calendar to see if it is empty.  If it is, then YES, we could meet.   If however, I have scheduled that slot as a time to go for a run or take a nap or read or spend some time in solitude to shape my soul and remain healthy, then I need to be able to say “NO” and not feel guilty like I’m bumping that which can simply be rescheduled and should be secondary in importance.

Thus, I have decided this is an idea from Jesus.  From now on, I will call my soul “Haus”.   He and I will be meeting often.  🙂

We had our annual parenting summit at JCC a couple of weekends ago and I keep getting requests for the videos we showed.  So, I decided to post them and some of my others here.  Go grab them and use them to encourage your parents at your next parent meeting.  Or if you’re the parent… well just enjoy them.

PARENT RAP:

 TEENAGE SONG:

BIRTH CONTROL COMMERCIAL.  warning #1. if this is your kid, I’m sorry.

PARENTING BY THE BOOKS:  warning #2. This one has one “naughty word” in the last .3 seconds.  Stop before then if you are easily offended or maybe cut the clip if you’re gonna use it with your entire church or something.

This last weekend I went to the Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Indianapolis to teach, bond, learn from, and hang out with some old and new friends.  While there, I was reminded how much I LOVE meeting with, encouraging, and equipping people whose heart is for God and whose passion is to see teen’s get connected with him in life-altering ways.

So… all weekend I made a running list of observations of stuff that prompted my soul to move.  I boiled it down to my top 5 reminders for myself and those who do this thing called youth ministry.

1. WE NEED EACH OTHER:  youth ministry is not a solo thing.  Yes, it requires God. It also requires one another.  It’s so mission critical that we work with others and team with people to sharpen and encourage one another.  Life is hard. Youth Ministry is hard.  We all need soul mates in the journey.  To that end, national and local gatherings like this one are mission critical and so worth the time and effort.  Some of my greatest ministry lessons and life-long friendships have been birthed out of youth worker training events like this.  However we do it, we must continue to gather.
2. PRAY A LOT:  I made a commitment this weekend. I’m never teaching another sermon to high school students without telling them they are loved, reminding them they were created by God to reflect God’s image, and then praying to invite the Holy Spirit to move among us.  I KNOW we need God.  I simply cannot do this thing without God.  None of us can.  I will remind my students in prayer every week with this.
3. WE CAN’T LEAD STUDENTS TO DEPTHS WE HAVE NOT GONE:  caring for my soul and taking care of my own connection with God is not a luxury for those whose life moves at a slow pace. It is a mandatory requirement for all of us who seek to lead students to connection with God.  If I want my students to experience intimacy with Jesus, then I have to go out of my way to ensure that I too experience God in incredible and life-altering ways. This won’t happen by osmosis.  It requires effort and intentionality.  Daily. Hourly.  Constantly.
4. OUR DOING MUST FLOW FROM OUR BEING.  Order matters. A lot. My ministry must flow out of my identity with Christ, if it does not, then my ministry will become my identity.  I will find myself the quintessential example of Matthew 7: those who appear Godly on the outside, but find themselves doing that which was disconnected from God and held no value beyond religious pretending.  I so don’t want that.  I never want to turn my youth ministry into an idol.  I love God.  Then I serve students. NOT the reverse.
5. THE END IS NOT NEAR:  There is a dualism in this for me:  First, there has been some talk from time to time that the sky is falling on youth ministry.  Perhaps this is true if you’re talking about methods and practices.  I think those change all the time.  But if you’re talking about the desperate need in our culture for people who love God to help those in their adolescence to connect with God… well, then that is still very much alive and well. The end is not near.  Secondly, it is also all too clear that youth ministry is not a short term deal either.  Life-change that lasts is change that happens like a tortoise.  Slow and steady. The end is not near.  So buckle up people, we’re going for a long, slow, life-altering ride that is guaranteed to make you weary and remind you of #1-4 above.