December 2011 — Page 2

PLANNING RETREATS FOR MORE THAN MINISTRY

Every youth pastor I know plans retreats. They give their time and effort and some of their best creative energy into retreat planning because they know that retreats can and do change lives. Despite the fact that they always cost additional time, money, and often require huge planning steps of faith- they still do them because they are inherently risky and fun and unparalleled memory making ventures.

But here’s the rub though…. not many of those same youth pastors plan great trips for their family.

For years I too put more effort into planning summer camp than a summer vacation. I justified this as part of my job and brought my wife and kids with me anytime I could. I still do that cuz I want both my own kids and my students exposed to the intersection of ministry and family. But recently, especially as my kids have gotten older they started complaining that the stories they heard me tell about our youth group retreats were things they wanted to do too. Telling them “just wait till you’re in high school” was not going to cut it either. So over the last few years now, I’ve become increasingly convicted that if I’m not willing to do this for my own family, I should not be doing it for ministry.

I mean really: Why in the world would I give my most creative energy to the students I work with for a season at the expense of the family I’ll be connected to for rest of my life?

Answer? Because retreats are a lot of work and if you do them both for ministry and your family, your life will get doubly complicated. Life is flat out easier in ministry and in my home when we just sit around. Problem is it makes no memories worth bragging about either. Having planned my share of both family and ministry retreats now… I can say this about them:

Family and Ministry Trips both cost money I don’t easily earn.
Family and Ministry Trips both cost a lot of time.
Family and Ministry trips both require planning, preparation, and hours of clean up too.
Family and Ministry trips both have me asking, “Why did I do this to myself, I should have just played it safe and done none of this” in the preparation stage. They are also both quickly followed with, “I wouldn’t trade this for the world moments”when they’re done too.

Most recently, I took my kids and some friends and their kids back out the desert to do some target shooting, eating, and big bonfire time for a 2 day/one night trip the day after Thanksgiving. It’s become a tradition at this point and every year we go I both simultaneously think, “man this is a lot of work and oh man, it is so worth it.”

So from one parent/pastor to another, go ahead and plan that family trip with as much gusto as you do your next ministry trip. You and your family will be so glad you did. Hearing my kid brag about our family trips makes it all worth it.

CREATING A GENEROUS FAMILY

A while back I was approached by one of our kids ministry pastors at Journey, Tara, about the idea of creating a family worship experience with a generosity focus during the month of November. Within minutes we had agreed to do it and then decided to offer an interactive and participatory learning experience. As parents, we both yearned for this for our own kids and hoped others would want the same.

We ended up working with a team of people to plan it over several months and it finally pulled it off on the Sunday before Thanksgiving. We were stoked, because in the end, it was a HUGE hit. We had over 100 families show up, worship together and then engage in meeting the needs of someone less fortunate either in our community or around the world.

Families were given a passport during our large group worship service and then they went to 3 stations on campus before going off campus to buy a gift for someone in need and coming back on campus to wrap it / pray over it / and then enjoy some hot cocoa. It was an Epic night.

In the process, I was reminded of a few things.

GENEROSITY IS NEVER ACCIDENTAL BUT ALWAYS FUN. If I want my kids to be generous, then I have to give them intentional opportunities to be generous. Going to Mexico. Saving money to spend on others. It’s nights like this one that provided a win in this regard for everyone. Another family in need was blessed and my kids were too. Generosity is not something I drag my kids into, it’s something my family gets the joy of participating in and it can’t be taught. It can only be caught. Blessing others is a joy- especially when you do it together.

CREATIVITY INSPIRES GENEROSITY. Each family was unique in how they chose to create this experience and what they chose to buy for another family. It was amazing to watch really. This past Thanksgiving, during a tradition of writing down what we’re most thankful for during a thing we call the “blessing pot”, my mom gave everyone $5 with the one pre-requisite that you would use it to bless someone else. It really made for some great conversations with my kids and 8 of us at the table pooled our money together and chose to buy a flock of chickens and a flock of geese from heifer.org Jake gave his to 1 friend to use in Uganda this summer. Tyler has been giving his money a dollar at a time to kids at school who forgot their lunch money. Generosity was in the air and creativity was rolling. So cool.

GENEROSITY IS QUALITATIVE, NOT QUANTITATIVE. Creating a generous Spirit cannot be quantified. Generosity in my kids and in my family is not so much about the size of the gift we give away, but rather than we are always eager to push ourselves beyond what is comfortable. That could be small or big in terms of actual gifts or money. But that doesn’t minimize the power of a small thing to change the world. These generous families and their kids said that loud and clear with their lives.