Archives for March 2011

I gave my mom a knit beanie I bought for myself several months back as inspiration.

I told her, this would be fun for her to make.  Your grandkids would enjoy them.  You should make some.

So my mom did.

She bought a bucket of yarn in various colors. Then she set the various colors in front of my kids and I, and said, “Pick some”.  We each picked colors and wallakazu – wallakazam, several weeks later my mom had knit us all beanies.

I ask this question a lot.

The answer I get to this question depends on where I am, who I asked it of, and how honest they want to be with me. Here’s the most common answers I get from high school students on Sunday AM and how I interpret them.

TIRED:  I think they must be running all day or they stay up too late reading my blog :), but they are always tired.  Crazy thing is, if you ask them what they did yesterday, they almost always say, “nothing”.

• my interpretation: sunday morning is a sleepy time for high school church and “nothing” is a very tiring activity.

BUSY:  I heard the other day that busy is the new “fine”.  Seems about right.  Everyone is busy.  My students are all busy.

• my interpretation: Sabbath and Stress are perhaps the most culturally relevant discussion topics ever in a student’s life today.  Might just be the most perpetually relevant to my life actually. 

FINE: This means nothing to anyone, not even the person who just uttered it.

• my interpretation: 1. I don’t want to talk to you.  OR  2. that is the dumbest question ever so I’ll just give you the dumbest answer ever.  OR  3. I’m too tired to think. OR  4.  You look as old as my Dad, so I’ll tell you the same thing I tell all old people… fine. 

NOT GOOD: At least 3 times in the last 2 months I’ve walked up to a girl sitting by herself in our ministry in a room filled with people on a Sunday AM and said, “It’s good to see you… how are you doing?”  To which they say, “Not good.”  I respond, “Oh no, what happened?” and put my hand on their shoulder. This starts a flood of tears and intense sobs they evidently had bottled up and will as quietly as possible let loose of right here in this big room as they cover their face.  The pressure releases all at once as they tell me through tears the immense weight they have on their shoulders at that moment.

• my interpretation: We need more adult leaders in our Sunday program- especially women evidently.  I should never ever assume that students who look “fine” are really just fine.  Students lack healthy physical touch. Oh.. and it’s evidently very possible to be very lonely in a room full with people. 

If there’s 20 seconds on the game clock and you want the ball so you can score the game winner, do you call it ambition or arrogance?

If there’s a key vision to be cast in your organization and you say, “I’d like to give that keynote speech to the team”, do you call it ambition or arrogance?

If there’s a problem in the world that you think needs a new perspective to solve, and you start an organization to do just that, do you call it ambition or arrogance?

What about if it’s not you, but it’s your peer?  What about if it’s someone who answers to you? What about if it’s someone who could do your job?  What about if it’s something you think is expected to be your job, but you know would really be better done by someone else in your organization… at least this time?

I don’t think this is a hypothetical question.  I don’t think it’s a rare occurrence either.   I think all day long, in all kinds of business places, relationships, and playing fields, people are doing a dance:  longing to fuel their personal ambition and accusing others around them of prideful arrogance when they long for it too.  I think as a high school pastor, I am constantly trying to decide which of these two I see in myself, my peers, and the students I work with as we dream big dreams.

Here’s the difference:

ARROGANCE: is a selfish promotion of me for my own internal benefit and external reward.

• so if you want the ball for the camera, it’s arrogant.
• if you want the speech for the applause, it’s arrogant. 
• if you want to start the organization to prove yourself better than others, it’s arrogant.

AMBITION: is an intense desire to make a difference to a degree that it often propels the individual into influence by default.

• so if you have proven yourself to be the best scorer, it’s ambition.
• if you are a communicator who is passionate and clear on the vision for the speech, it’s ambition.
• if you are the one who can’t sleep at night because of the problem, it’s ambition.

AND IF YOU PASS UP ASKING FOR STUFF FOR FEAR OF ARROGANCE, IT’S NOT HUMILITY, IT’S APATHY.

think about it.

Moses wasn’t called humble for telling God he wasn’t good enough to do the job.  Nehemiah wasn’t called arrogant for wanting to rebuild the wall and asking for money and personal leave time to get it done.

So pray about your vision. Hold it before God with an open hand.  Then run after your dreams.  Go pitch the book proposal.  Go score the goal.  Go play the song or start that band. Go run the race.  Go make that phone call.  Go pour gasoline on your ambition and cold water on arrogance.

Please don’t just sit there, GO CHANGE THE WORLD!

After you’ve been doing youth ministry for a while.  There are days when you wonder if it matters at all.

After the thousandth student has come through the door and is never to be seen again.  After another student on your leadership team you’ve poured into decided to leave the faith behind.  After you have been crying and praying and sweating and waiting for a spiritual breakthrough and instead all you get is broken and no through… those are the days you wanna quit and go get a “real job”.

But then there are those days.  Those other days.  Those few and far between days when it all seems worth it.  When the long term fruit of seeds planted 10+ years ago shows up.   Yeah, the last few days have been like that for me.

ONE CAME IN THE FORM OF A WEDDING:

Aparna and Burton both made a decision to follow Jesus in and through high school and a student ministry called Powerhouse I cut my ministry teeth in.  Then they chased each other and Jesus all the way through life’s ups and downs and ended up at the altar.  Last Friday I got a chance to officiate their wedding ceremony.  Now Burton is training to be an airline mechanic and pilot who flies missionaries and supplies into remote areas of the world.  Aparna stepped in and helped lead Powerhouse in the years after I left.  She is passionate about making a difference for Jesus everywhere she goes and married a man who humbly shares that passion.  So proud of them.

In the wedding party and the audience were two other couples that grew up in our ministry and are now serving as youth pastors in their own local churches.  There was a couple I’m doing the wedding for this summer who are loving God and serving in a local church plant.  Two former volunteers have chosen to go to seminary for more training to reach more students. I talked with a dear friend who told me she has remained faithful to a commitment she made as a freshman before God… like 15 years ago.  There is a former intern who is serving foster kids.  I mean the list could go on and on for pages.  I did not have one conversation the entire reception that did anything but encourage my soul.  Not one.

What an amazing gift this day was.

ANOTHER CAME IN THE FORM OF A VIDEO: 
I have a good friend and former student from our high school ministry who serves as the Area Director for a Young Life club in South Central LA. He literally was told on his first day at Fremont High by a cop to get off the campus and never come back because he didn’t want to do the paperwork for his dead body.  That was years ago now.

I was on facebook tonight and I saw this 16 minute video.  I watched it through tears.  What an epic example of a life well lived. So blessed to be a small part of this story.

If you know Kyle Cummins, you should definitely watch this video.

If you don’t know Kyle but you want to be inspired by real student ministry that changes real student lives, then you should watch this video.

If you just want to donate some money to a ministry that is rockin’ the inner city and that can’t survive without outside support, well… watch this video. 

OH… AND HERE’S MY SHOUT OUT…

To all the Powerhouse and Encounter grads that are loving Jesus still today!  You Bless Me more than words will ever say!

If you work in a non-profit, then you need volunteers.  Lots of them.

But not just any ol volunteer.  You need lots of good ones.  Cuz a bad volunteer can cause as much pain in your life as a bad hire.  Maybe it’s worse because we somehow tend to tolerate more cuz you don’t have a paycheck to hang over their head.  I was talking with some former students of mine, who are now youth pastors in their own churches tonight and it reminded me of one of my most recent learnings about volunteers and saving ourselves a ton of headache because they just don’t “get it”.

WE MUST RALLY AROUND VALUES, NOT BEHAVIORS.

Most youth ministries I know of ask people to commit to a set of behaviors to be on their volunteer team.  Here’s a sample set:

• go to our adult church services on Sundays
• adhere to some moral standard
• support the vision and doctrine statement of the church
• come to our student ministry mid week.
• lead a small group
• prepare for a small group before you lead it
• show up for our leader meetings “x” number of times a year
• pray for us.
• be consistent
• etc…. 

The second set, may result in some of the first set.  But I’ll stack hands on vision every day a thousand times over before I stack hands on rules and regulations.  I don’t want to manipulate behavior, I want to lead into mission.

And if I need to correct a volunteer or have a hard convo about a behavior… I want to discuss the values that are the root issue, not the circumstance that is the current subject.