Husband. Dad to 5. Student Ministry Pastor. Follower of Jesus. Yatta yatta.

Archives for December 2007

MERRY CHRISTMAS

December 26, 2007 by 1 Comment

Merry Christmas to you. We celebrated Jesus with gifts, food, and family today. 13 of us in all. My mom, dad, and grandma and then my sister’s family and mine.

Today was day 5 of a 7 day visit from the Crawford Clan– my sister’s family. It’s meant there have been 6 boys between the ages of 3 and 10 and at least 4 adults here since last Thursday which turned our house into a very busy place. Over the next several days I’ll post some stories and collages. I have some pre-stories to do as well, which I hope to get done in the next week or so. December has been event packed. I have 2 field trips with my boys, a christmas party with our youth ministry, a day with the “aunties”, and several activities of the last few days to collage.

Day 2 of their visit here consisted of a trip to see Sea World. So much fun. I will say, that the nighttime Christmas show from Shamu and company was like going to church. Literally. It was amazing. I felt kinda weird, but I cried. Something about watching people interact with these whales in such a crazy friend/amazing swimming and theatrical event combined with Christmas Carols both sung and played by a choir and simple saxophone and even scripture on the big screens just got to me. I was glad we stayed for the closing event, even though we were a little cold. It was so worth it. Thanks Sea World.

Here’s the picture set. (click it if you want to get a closer view) Merry Christmas to you all.

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GIFT EXCHANGE LEFT/RIGHT READING

December 22, 2007 by Leave a Comment
I know these posts are mostly too late for those of you who are doing gift exchanges, but it’s proof as to how crazy my Christmas has been. But on the off chance you need another idea or that you want to tuck one away for the future. Here’s one I did a few years ago.

Everyone gets a gift and then sits in a circle, with the unopened gift. Then a reader reads this poem and at the obvious points, all gifts are passed around in the circle. There is no stealing, it’s just an exchange.

Twas the night RIGHT before Christmas when RIGHT through the house
Not a creature was LEFT stirring, not even a mouse–
The stockings were hung RIGHT by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be RIGHT there.
The children were nestled RIGHT snug in their beds,
while visions of sugarplums danced RIGHT in their heads,
And mama in her kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just settled RIGHT down for a long winter’s nap,
When RIGHT out on the LEFT lawn there rose such a clatter,
I sprang RIGHT from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the RIGHT window I LEFT like a flash;
tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
LEFT a luster of midday to objects RIGHT below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature sleight and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver RIGHT lively and quick;
I knew RIGHT in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came;
and he whistled and shouted, and called them RIGHT by name:
“Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet, on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen!
To the RIGHT top of the porch! To the LEFT top of the wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash RIGHT away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
when they meet RIGHT with an obstacle, mount RIGHT up to the sky,
So up to the housetop the coursers they LEFT flew,
with a sleighful of toys and St. Nicholas, too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard RIGHT on the roof,
the prancing and pawing of each little RIGHT and LEFT hoof.
As I drew in my head and was turning LEFT around‹
down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, RIGHT from his head to his LEFT foot,
and his clothes were all LEFT tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung RIGHT on his back,
and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His RIGHT and LEFT eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples‹how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was LEFT drawn up like a bow,
and the beard LEFT on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held RIGHT in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a round little belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was RIGHT chubby and plump, a RIGHT, RIGHT jolly old elf,
and I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
A wink of his LEFT eye and a LEFT twist of his head,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went RIGHT straight to his work,
and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk
And laying his finger to the LEFT of his nose,
and giving a nod, he LEFT‹up the chimney he rose.
He sprang RIGHT to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
and away they all LEFT like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he LEFT–out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!”
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GIFT EXCHANGE DICE GAME

December 22, 2007 by Leave a Comment
Last Wed. night we had our high school small group guys christmas party. It consisted of pizza, cake, dodgeball, and 40 random gifts we exchanged- but not like it’s normally done in my world.

For starters, the gifts were all found by an adult volunteer whose wife works for a company that repossesses homes. Most people leave them pretty much trashed. So they contract with people to go in and fix/clean them up before they can be re-sold. As a result, our adult volunteer found all the gifts at the party left behind in the garages and such. He even found the wrapping paper he needed. This is good, because if you ask a group of 40 high school guys to bring gifts to a party, 5 of them will remember and 35 will forget. Also, of the 5 gifts that were remembered, 3 would have been bought by a mom and are actually worth having. The remaining two are wrapped in newspaper and found under their bed and probably disease infested. The other 35 guys are standing around claiming you never told them to bring anything and looking for junk at church they can wrap in toilet paper so they can play too. So, having an adult bring random stuff is at least as good as what they would have brought anyway.

Regardless, since I was trying not to let the gift exchange go on for forever, I was searched the web and found a sweet new way to play the age old game of gift exchanges. It turned out to be so much fun that I think I’ll do it again and surely lobby for it to replace the old drawing numbers and stealing until it’s frozen method.

So, here’s how it works- with a few changes I added in.

  1. Everyone brings a gift and puts it in the pile.
  2. In exchange for bringing their gift, they pick up a cup of 4 dice- not a number from a cup like I’m used to. (This was no big deal since I have like 200 dice in a bag for playing liars dice in large groups.)
  3. Then, one party leader directs everyone to pick up their cup, shake the dice, and turn them over under the cup on a table at the same time. Anyone who gets 3 of a kind, yells out some pre-determined saying. IE: “I got it” or “Santa is fake” or “Happy Birthday Jesus” or “Fruitcake” or whatever.
  4. Then in the order they were heard, they are allowed to go get a new, unopened gift only.
  5. This continues until like 3 people are left or something, then you just tell them to go pick a gift.
  6. Then, once everyone has a gift, you now go into a pre-designated number of exchange rounds in which you do the same thing. Except now, you change what the dice must read to win. One round might be a round where the winner gets two pairs. Another round might be for dice whose sum total is 11. Another might be 3 of a kind with even numbers only. Etc.
  7. Anyone who wins one of the above exchange rounds and yells out they have it, then can either keep their gift or trade their gift with anyone else. Gifts are only frozen for that round. (IE: if 3 people win, they can only trade with different people who did not also win. This way, winning can be like an immunity shield for your gift too for a round if you’d rather not trade) However, all gifts are active for exchange in every round, no matter how many times they have been stolen- so there is incentive to want to win every time. The trick is you must win a round of dice to be eligible to trade or protect your gift in the event you want to keep it.
This was tons of fun. Even for gifts that were mostly random junk they didn’t want and couldn’t use for the most part.
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WATER RANT

December 12, 2007 by Leave a Comment

I laughed at the water bottle I found today at the bagel shop. Then tonight, after I put the boys to bed was reading this weeks Newsweek and found this article about the popularity of drinking water that claims to have some spiritual value to it. Water that does not “just promote good health, it actually makes you good” these companies claim. They are proving my previous post correct. You really can promise all kinds of bull and get people to pay ridiculous amounts of money, even for water.

I stopped laughing.

Here’s a few quotes.
“Like a crucifix or a rosary, a bottle of Holy Water is a daily reminder to be kind to others.”
“Holy Drinking water, produced by a California based company called Wayne Enterprises, is blessed at the warehouse by an Anglican or Roman Catholic priest.”

“The most recent entry in this niche is Spiritual Water. It is purified municipal water, sold with 10 different Christian labels. The Virgin Mary bottle, for example, has the Hail Mary prayer printed on the back in English and Spanish.”

The makers of spiritual water, “Calmly refutes the implication that his Spiritual Water is bad for the planet. People put fewer of his bottles in the trash, he says, because they don’t want to discard the images of Jesus or Mary.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I recently went on a field trip with TJ to discover how to use water and resources more efficiently in San Diego. It was very cool and in the process I discovered that 90% of the water I get comes from the California Aquaduct and the Colorado River. San Diego is a desert and gets less than 10″ of rain a year. This year we have had like 3 inches. I sorta knew that, but the details made me think about my shower a little more intentionally this week. Water is not an American Consumer product, it is a privelege. It is a gift. It should not be wasted. And by the way, it does not come from us, but the Creator alone. Maybe men create cars, but God creates water. Period. We should be careful when we jack with anything lent to us by the creator.

Some according to Newsweek agree with me.

“Some religious believers, also convinced of the elemental importance of water, are campaigning against its unbiquitous sale and packing on the grounds that the practice is neither ethical nor good for the environment. ‘Water is life’ says Sister Mary Zirbes. ‘It really should not be a commodity to be bought.'”

And here’s two quotes from Richard Cizik- of the National Association of Evangelicals

“In a world where a billion people have no reliable source of drinking water, where 3000 children die every day of waterborne diseases let’s be clear: bottled water is not a sin, but it sure is a choice.”

“Spending 15 billion dollars a year on bottle dbottled water is a testimony to our own conspicuous consumption, our culture of indulgence.”

Richard takes a lot of crap from “Christians” who don’t give a crap about the environment, believing it’s ours to rule and that since God’s going to destroy it eventually anyway, we can do whatever we want to it now. However Richard Cizik believes Romans 8:19-26 and lives it. I’m a big Richard Cizik fan. (You can read what he believes here) He takes a lot of heat for the gospel. He believes that all of God’s created order, including the planet, was hurt by the fall and that Christians not only care about the souls of human beings, but of the creation which is also called to declare the Glory of God. David evidently agreed.


If you want to chew on the behind the scenes issues that are really at stake in this water debate and how some cultures around the world abuse it and what a Christian ought to do about it, then you might want to read this covenant commitment to simple living from the Lausanne Commity for World Evangelization- orignally founded by Billy Graham. But be warned, it’s long, deep, spiritual, theological, practical… and it will jack with you. Very few documents have impacted my thinking as significantly as the theological conclusions this group came to. I fully agree with them and am trying desperately to figure out what it means for me. I suspect it will take a while, but I’m on the road.
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XXX WATER

December 11, 2007 by 1 Comment

This morning I went to go get a bagel and while waiting for them to make it into an egg thing-a-majig, I was checking out the beverages they sell in the fridge.


While examining them, I was thinking how stupid it is that America has like a thousand ways to buy bottle water when lots of the world has no water at all and we treat it like a fad with different shaped bottles that probably cost more than the water inside and that I promise you, I could come up with a new fandangled way to pitch water to you with some silly promise. One of them they sell is “smart water” which I’m positive is just water and it makes you dumb if you buy it thinking it will make you smart.

But then I saw the multi-colored vitamin water and thought, well at least those people might have legitimately jacked with their water and added food coloring and called it vitamins. In the process, I saw that they sell one called “XXX” water and so I walked over to read about it, assuming the bottle would claim it was some kind of aphrodisiac.

However I found this paragraph instead:

c-mon, get your mind out of the gutter, we only named this drink xxx because it has the power of triple antioxidants to help keep you healthy and fight the radicals so in case you’re wondering, this does not cost $1.99 a minute or contain explicit adult content or anything considered “uncensored”, it has not “gone wild!!!!” during spring break nor will clips of it be passed around the internet like a certain hotel heiress and it has never been seen nude, but it is definitely au naturale.

I laughed out loud.

I think that if you’re going to jack with people’s water and sell it to them with some amazing promise, you should at least have fun doing it. I now want to take a second job working for vitamin water. I want to write the silly smack talk they put on the side of the bottles. Somewhere in the world, someone right now is sitting in a cubicle in vitamin water land saying to themselves, “I can’t believe they pay me to do this.” I take that back, they’re probably on the ski slopes of Utah texting their latest paragraph to their boss while riding the lifts and laughing all the way to the bank as people buy colored water in the name of healthy living.

I’m jealous.

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